Oh, the Life of a Husband
by Toomuch2soon
Summary: Sasuke knew he'd face many challenging things throughout his life, but none as difficult as this. Now married, Sasuke has many problems to face. With a new dog, and a new daughter, life can get pretty crazy.


**I'm in the process of editing this story. Please bare with me, I haven't written one of these things in about two years. I'm hoping the story is at least a little bit better. **

**I do not own Naruto**

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I don't know how I got myself into this predicament. Life was going adequately. I knew I'd have to marry sooner or later, but all of this extra...stuff? No. Never. I thought my life was going to smooth sailing. Boy was i wrong. Would I do it all over again if I had the chance? Never.

It was early. Too early to be woken up to the sound of rustling paper. I rolled over, trying to get in a more comfortable position so that I could fall right back asleep. I then noticed that my wife was sitting up, reading the paper. She mumbled a "good morning", her eyes never leaving whatever had captivated her attention so much. I thought nothing of it, Sakura usually enjoyed catching up on the news. I rolled back over so that he could see the alarm clock: 10:37. I groaned, caught by surprise of how late it already was. Breathing deeply I rubbed the sleep form my eyes and say up in bed. I gave Sakura a small kiss on the cheek and looked over to see what she was reading. After a quick scan I decided nothing was worth my attention. Time to start the day.

I grudgingly got out of bed and pulled a shirt over my head, and loped to the kitchen, poured my self some coffee, and stuffed it in the microwave to heat up. I fumed around, listening to the soft sound of the microwave. I flung the door open at the sound of the beep, and quickly downed my coffee. There was nothing appetizing in the fridge or pantry. No tomatoes.

After taking a shower, I dried my hair quickly. I walked into the closet and picked a some simple dark blue sweats, and a regular t-shirt. Poking my head around the corner, I saw Sakura still reading her paper. She noticed me looking and raised her head to meet my gaze.

"I've bee thinking..." I rolled my eyes, this could be bad.

"Hn"

She looked up at me, "Fine. I'll ask you what you think of my idea," she said, telling that I didn't think much of her idea.

"Yes?"

"I think we should get a puppy,"

I didn't respond. My stare remained blank as images of clothes covered in dog hair, chewed furniture, dog feces everywhere, and me cleaning it all up.

"Yes. A puppy," She said slowly as if I could not understand what she was saying.

"That's not a good idea considering you can't even keep a plant alive," I only state the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

That statement earned me a painful slap across the face and the silent treatment for two days.

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Sakura didn't make any mention about getting a dog for the next few weeks, much to my relief. I suppose she saw why it would just be a terrible idea. There would just be no possible a puppy would be good for us right now. Or ever. I thought everything was in the clear. This would be one of the many times where I was very, very wrong.

Sakura and I were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when she suddenly brought it back up.

"Sasuke-kun, I really _do_ want a puppy..." She turned to look at me with her eyes wide and pitiful. I just rolled my eyes and tried not to look at her.

"Plllleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase!!" She moved over and sat on my lap.

"No," I didn't even look at her.

She pouted and tried a new approach. She softly played with my hair and whispered seductively in my year, "Please Sasuke-_kuuuun_," I shivered as she drawled out my name. She never used that tone of voice with me, unless she really wanted something. I sighed and looked at her.

Yup.

She had me. Damn her.

"Maybe," That was good enough for her. She squealed hugged me tightly. Feh.

Apparently while I was confident that the subject had been completely forgotten, she had been doing research about different breeds of dogs. She was now informed about the highs and lows of every breed. She also knew what food is best for each breed, what not to feed dogs, which dogs need to be able to run around, and which dogs are content to simply go on a few walks a day. I considered this quite sad.

Sakura knew not to push her luck, and didn't bring up the topic of dogs for a week or so. I was slightly optimistic that she had forgotten all about it, but I knew that she was just waiting for the perfect time to strike again. I was constantly on guard, leaving whenever she even mentioned the word "dog".

I should have known better. I don't know why I wasn't thinking, she must have drugged me. I, Uchiha Sasuke, never let my guard down.

She convinced me to go on a walk with her, just "a stroll through town to clear my head form work" was her reasoning. Sounded harmless enough. Once again, I was very wrong.

We passed various houses, and she led us all through town. She looked like she had a mission. I really should have seen the signs.

I kept to myself as usual, only listening to her never ending talking. Tch, annoying.

I noticed that she had stopped right in front of a white house. I had never seen it before, or maybe just never noticed it. She ran ahead, giggling like a little girl. I had a terrible terrible feeling about the whole thing. This didn't seem like it was going anywhere good. I grudgingly followed her.

I found her talking with a rather older woman. She had a very bad perm, and was dressed in a revolting pink and green dress patterned with flowers and old lady led Sakura and me to a small shed behind her house. I didn't even go inside, I had no idea what was in there. Sakura just fallowed, and bent down by a cardboard box. I heard a squeal of delight, and kissy noises. I knew this meant new good. I should have retreated right then and there.

I cautiously made my way to her. She saw me coming and shoved something in my face. I stared back at a very furry, gold face, with round black eyes. It was indeed, cute. But, of course, being an Uchiha, I maintained my icy self inside. I would rather kiss Neji than admit I thought the puppy was completely and utterly adorable.

I pushed the soft, fluffy dog out of my face and glared at my wife. She merely giggled and kept playing with the ball of fur. Women...

"What the hell is that _thing_?" I asked as coolly as possible.

She turned the big black eyes to my face again. "Isn't he _adorable?!" _She squealed in utter delight.

"No," I pushed the puppy away once more. "We're not getting a puppy, Sakura."

"Well I like him...Or her..." she turned to the woman, and discussed something about "hip problems" with this certain breed.

"Yes, well this one can not be sold. I promised my grand daughter she could have one, and she chose this one," she pointed at the evil, vile miscreant.

"Hmmm...Maybe one of these then," Sakura handed the puppy back to the lady and stooped down to the box again. "What do you think, Sasuke-kun?" She lifted a slightly darker puppy up and inspected it. "No, not this one..."

I soon found out that she was actually looking at Golden Retrievers. Whatever that means. I was not knowledgeable in the way of dog breeds.

She ended up fixated with one puppy especially. He had a very light gold color to his fur, big floppy ears, and clumsy paws that seemed way too big for his body.

"Isn't he just the cutest thing? Yes you are! Who's a good boy!?" Sakura made kissing noises to the little dog and he thumped his tail in amusement. I couldn't watch this.

"Sakura, I must go back to the Hokage. She had an important mission for me"

"Mhm..." She didn't even look away from the dog.

"Hn," I started walking away, trying to get as far away form the old woman and her dogs. I stopped walking when I felt a soft nudge against the back of my legs. I turned around, with an eyebrow raised to find the puppy that Sakura had had in her arms sitting down and...staring at me. His tongue was hanging stupidly out of his mouth, and tail wagging back and forth. He reminded me of Naruto. Even more of a reason not to get him.

Sakura came rushing over in a fit of giggles. "I think he likes you," she turned around and burst out laughing and scratched the dogs head. I glared and turned around, walking as fast as I could to get away.

I returned home later that night. I had begged the Hokage for a mission but the best she could do was an escort mission which wasn't worth my time.

While returning home I couldn't get the image of the stupid puppy out of my head. I knew there was no way that Sakura could have gotten him. She would never. I told her no, I would never allow that thing anywhere near me ever again.

Feeling confident, I opened the door and stopped dead.  
No.  
Fucking.  
Way.

There he was. In _my_ house. Chewing on _my_ shoe. Probably already peed on_ my_ rug, too. I eyed the dong carefully. My finger twitched, and he lunged.

The horror.

This time I was ready, this time, I would not be taken by surprise.

Of course, like so many times before (I hoped that this wouldn't become a habit) I was wrong.

I opened my eyes to see the evil face of the dog staring back at me. I then realized I was lying on some object. I quickly got the dog off of me and grbbed whatever was under me. A tennis ball. Of course.

I glanced up and saw Sakura –my wife who's supposed to feel sorry for me- laughing at me. I stood up and looked from her to the ball of fluff in her arms.

"Why?"

"Aw, Sasuke-kun. He's so sweet, and cute! Don't even worry about it, you'll grow to love him!" She looked back at the puppy and started talking to him.

"You're taking that thing back," she couldn't say no to me, there's no way.

"Don't call Cody 'it'!" she gave me a look full of dramatized hurt and hugged the dog closer.

"Cody?" There is no way we're naming our dog _Cody_.

"I think it's cute!" she really did look cute when she argued...

"No way is the dog being named Cody! He's a guy! He has to have a manly name!" I argued.

"What about Marley?" She asked.

"No"

"Hunter?"

"No"

"Winston?"

"Hell no!"

"Hector?"

"Are you serious?"

"Then what? All the names I pick, you hate!" She was now yelling. Too much noise and drama, I couldn't handle it.

"We don't need a name, because he's going back!" I argued back.

"I can't take him back! I already paid 375 yin for him!" I stopped.

"375 yin?! Holy shit, Sakura! Of course he's going back now! Who spends that kind of money on a dog?!"

"Hey! Most dogs can cost over 500! Be happy!"

"Happy! How can I be happy at a time like this, Sakura?"

Sakura decided she didn't want to argue. She screamed and stormed off. Mature.

"Hey! I wasn't finished talking!" I raced after her.

She slammed our bedroom door. I knew better than to go in their at a time like this. Fine, I would stake it out. She couldn't stay mad at me forever, right? This time I knew I was right.

I looked down to see that Sakura had let go of the dog. He was laying at the door, looking up at me as if waiting for me to do something.

"Don't look at me, this whole thing is your fault," great, now I'm talking to a dog.

Later that night I walked into out room only to be met with a pillow in the face. I removed the pillow to see Sakura standing in front of me, pointing out into the living room. Touchy.

"Couch," she didn't have to say anymore. I knew exactly what she meant. I peered around her to see my side of the bed.

Oh please, sweet Jesus.

That little dog is sleeping on my side of the bed. This has gone too far. I was about to yell when Sakura sent me a look so menacing, I went straight to the couch.I could almost see the puppy's gloating was far from over.

The next morning I decided I should just make the best of this. There's no way she would change her mind, and I wouldn't try to fool myself that I could win this.

I walked into out room finding that she was still asleep.I walked over to the dog, and quietly picked him up and went back to the couch. I set him down and stared at him. I began to think that maybe he wasn't so bad.

He looked up and stared at me with his big round eyes. Cocking his head to the side, he rose up his eyebrows and examined me. He finally woofed softly and jumped into my lap. I didn't touch him. He might have had some kind of disease or something.

Slowly I put one finger on his head. His tale thumped against my leg. Two fingers. His tale started going fast and faster. Finally I put my whole hand on his head and he went crazy. His whole body shook with excitement. I cautiously rubbed his head, regretting it all the while.

"Well, I guess I should find a good name for you…" I saw that on the table next to the couch was a book called "365 Dog Names." Why wasn't I surprised? I began to flip through the book, trying to find at least a decent name.

"Casey? Isn't that a girl's name?"

"Hunter? Too common, and Sakura already mentioned that name and I hated it. Next.

I soon found the list of the most popular dog names. I noticed a specific name rather high on the list.  
"Cody?" The dog lifted his head from my lap to stare at me.

Oh no. He wagged his tail.

Shit.

This is just great. He already responds to the stupid name. If only Sakura had waited till I got home to start naming it.

"What about…Oscar?" I looked over at him, one eyebrow raised. His blank stare made it clear he wasn't a fan.

"Fine…" I continued looking down the list. "Frisco? No. Too close to Crisco…" I found various names such as Max, Lucky, Sammy, Ryder, Quinn, and Arnold…But none seemed to fit him.

"Cody it is, then," I sighed in defeat.

I picked him up and went back into our room. I carefully set Cody down next to Sakura.

"Sakura?" I softly kissed her on the cheek. She didn't even move. Time for plan B.

I took Cody off the bed, and put him right in front of Sakura's face. He started licking her, and wagging his tail.

"Hmfmhm," Sakura shook her head and opened her eyes. I quickly moved Cody out of the way so she would see me.

"I guess Cody isn't that bad of a name…" I said it so quietly I was surprised she even heard me. She looked at me confused for a second, and then a grin started to spread on her face. She sat up and gave me a big hug.

"I knew you would love him!" she squealed.

"Love him? No. I can put up with him. I do not love him," I stated firmly.

"That's good enough for me! Come on, we have to go to the pet store," She pulled me off the bed and quickly took a shower, and got dressed. While she was doing that, I threw on some clothes and sat down next to Cody.

"You are one lucky dog…" He wagged his tale and stuck his head into my arm.

"Sasuke-kun! Get Cody, let's go!" Sakura came out of our room and went to find her purse.

I looked at Cody again. He was just so pathetic. I picked him up and carried him to the front door, waiting for Sakura. She walked up to us and opened the door, not even trying hard to hid her enthusiasm.

We spent the whole day at the pet store. Sakura went from isle to isle, and ended up buying a huge white dog bed, matching water and food bowl set, special puppy food, and other things I had no clue of as to what they were. I picked up a strange looking contraption in the shopping cart. It looked like some kind of torturing machine.

"Sakura…" I held up the object in question.

"It's a puppy grooming comb," she said simply.

Of course, how could I have been so naive?

She ran over to some section of the store and squealed. I turned the corner and found her holding up some kind of outfit. She picked up Cody, and held up the outfit to him. He looked so stupid. There was no way I was letting her dress him up in frilly clothing. He was a male, and although I didn' like him, every male deserved his pride. I decided I would save him form the misery and embarrassment.

"No," I stated. She frowned and went back to looking at all the other outfits. She held out a small ninja headband. She laughed and put it around Cody. I couldn't help buy smirk at the site. He looked so pathetic in the headband. No, I reminded myself. Dogs don't belong in clothing. Besides, he had enough fur to keep him warm during a blizzard. Sakura finally gave up. We paid for the items and went back home.

The next few days were Hell. Cody sure looked like a calm, mellow puppy, but he was really a vicious evil little demon. The first day I came home to find my best kunai gone. I turned around and saw Cody wagging his tail furiously.

I walked slowly over to Cody, and put my hands firmly over the kunai hanging out of his mouth. I tried to pry his jaws open. No luck. Those suckers were glued tight. I looked around, and thought of a strategy. I walked over to the kitchen, with him in tow behind me, and picked up a napkin. I held it right under his nose.

"Come on, you know you want it…" I tried to make him take it instead. I didn't think he'd be able to resist, I'd seen him eat napkins before.

I sighed and looked for some kind of food. I could only find cereal, so I took the box and shook it right next to his mouth. He looked back from me to the cereal. He tried to think of a way to have both kunai and cereal. I took some cereal out and placed it in my free hand. He looked like he was going insane.

Finally, he made his move. He quickly let go of the kunai, and lunged for the cereal, but I was faster. I pulled both hands quickly behind my back.

"Haha. Now I have both, and you have nothing," he looked up and raised his eyebrows. I quickly looked away. He went left, fallowing my face, and peered up at me again. No. He was not going to make me feel guilty. Sasuke Uchiha never gets soft.

I sighed and gave him the handful of cereal. He gobbled it down happily, ready for seconds. I shook my head and went to wash my kunai. It would take mass amounts of soap to get all the puppy drool off of it. I desperately hoped that he would quickly leave the puppy stage and become more like a well-trained canine. Would it surprise you if I told you that I was, once again, wrong? Yeah, me neither.

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**First chapter is done! I don't know how long it will take me to get the next one up, I'm starting school back up again on Monday and I will be insanely busy. Please review, constructive criticism is very much welcome! Thank you :)**


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